I've been thinking a
lot about suffering lately. I've wondered what the real purpose of suffering is
and what role it plays in the Great Plan of Happiness? If suffering were bad,
Christ wouldn't have done it, nor would he ever inflict us with it. There must
be something purposeful, even holy, about suffering. And if that's true, what
blessings are we denying ourselves by trying to avoid it at all costs?
Peter and
John were thrust into prison and beaten for teaching and healing in the name of
Jesus Christ. Upon their release, they were warned never to speak of Jesus
again. They didn't murmur or curse the council for what the council had done.
Acts 5:41 says, "And they departed from the presence of the council,
rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name."
Then, they went right back to preaching and healing!
This is my goal!
This is
my training program!


Image by: 水泳男 Image by: ChurchofJesusChrist.org
But
how often do we pray to be as Christ is without having to go through anything
he went through? Maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but I often focus on how
sinless he was and strive to be like that. Usually without asking for his help.
Or I think I should align my will with God (as long as it doesn't interrupt my
personal ambitions). It’s funny how articulating it makes it obvious how silly
it is. It doesn't seem that I'm going about this the right way.
I've
begun to wonder what I’m willing to suffer to actually be like
Christ. Not just a façade of what I think he’s like. I imagine a loving healer
and peacemaker who was revered by many. But am I also willing to be an outcast
in his name? Am I willing to be despised, ridiculed, and mocked? Am I as
willing to die for truth as he and his disciples were, I mean actually be put
to death in the most horrifying way possible? Am I willing to do all that? If
I'm not, then how can I ever truly be like him? Because that was his life.
That's what his heart was really made of. He taught the gospel and healed the
broken and broken-hearted no matter how angry people got or how tired he
became. No matter how many lies were told about him. No matter who turned their
back on him. Can I really pray to him and say, "Make me like you, but not
with "that" calling or not with "that" ministering
companion?" "Make me like you, but punish those who betray me. Don't
ever let my friends abandon me on my hardest days. And please, don't make me
give up food for a whole 24 hours!"
Can you see
how completely pathetic we must sound to him? And yet, he always answers with
love and patience; another skill I have yet to master. How do I even hope to
become someone like that? Where do I begin? The answer, I suppose, is somewhere, I
mean, literally anywhere. I just need to begin. And maybe the best place
to start is exactly where he tells me.
"Learn of me, and
listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my spirit"
(Doctrine and Covenants
19:23).
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